Thursday, April 03, 2008

"it's complicated"

That's one of the Facebook relationship statuses available. The other day, I decided that maybe it really isn't that complicated, so I changed my status, forgetting that profile changes get published in the news feed. Friends have contacted me, wondering what's up. The answer is: nothing new. I'm just trying to describe things as they are, rather than how I'd been confusing them.

Life in general is busy and uncertain right now. I've been wanting to move closer to work for a while, and thought I had a plan and a roommate in place a few days ago. After some thought, and more honest assessment of the realities, that's not going to work out. It's cool. I'll stay put for a little longer and keep looking for a new place on my own. I felt a considerable amount of relief once we reached the decision not to move.

All sorts of plans I had are falling through, which is frustrating and disappointing, but I'll manage. I have to reassess what's important to me and go from there. I've been thinking a lot about my life here in this town that I'm starting to get to know. It's weird and isolated, and I sometimes want nothing more than to just go back to the coast, where it's safe and known and filled with friends and family. But sometimes it feels like home here, one I've actually made for myself. It's not perfect, but I'm trying.

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